SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES……..

A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON….

WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, “Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?”

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO, I NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY WANTED TO.”

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, “WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR – NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF – STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY

WAS LAUGHING.

WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.

THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR.

THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY.THE SILENCE

WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.

THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE’S BUTT?”

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, “NO MAM… BUT… I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.”

THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 – NEVER BE ARROGANT.

2 – Don’t waste ammunition.

3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.

4 – Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 – Don’t mess with old women; they didn’t get old by being stupid…

I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?

There was a small village. A young boy went to a nearby river to play at the edge of the water. As he was playing, he heard a cry for help…`Oh, please save me, please save me!’

And the birds replied, `We take such a care to build safe nests on the top of the trees for protecting our eggs. Yet, snakes come and swallow them. We concur with the crocodile that what it is saying is totally true. There is injustice in the world.’ Then the boy saw a donkey that was grazing on the banks of the river and repeated his question. `While I was young, my master loaded soiled linen on my back and extracted maximum amount of work from me. Now that I am old and feeble, he has abandoned me saying that he cannot feed me. So there is nothing wrong with what crocodile is saying. Such is the way of the world. There is injustice and unfairness in the world and such is the life!’ said the donkey. The boy, still unable to accept these explanations finally noticed a rabbit and repeated the question. The rabbit said, `No, no! I cannot accept what the crocodile is saying. It is utter nonsense!’

Hearing this, the crocodile became angry and wanted to argue with the rabbit, even while holding the boy’s leg in its strong jaws. The rabbit protested, saying that as the crocodile’s mouth was choked with boy’s leg, it was not able to decipher what the crocodile was trying to say. The crocodile laughed heartily at this and said, `I am not a fool! If I let go, the boy would run away!’

`Now, you are really stupid!’ said the rabbit. `Have you forgotten how strong your tail is? Even if he runs, you can smash him with just one mighty lash of your tail!’ The crocodile fell for this and releasing the boy, continued its argument. The rabbit screamed to the boy, `Run! Run! Don’t just stand there!’ and the boy took to his heels. Only when it tried to raise its tail, did the crocodile realize that it was still entangled in the net. As the boy ran away, it glared at the rabbit in a terrible rage. The rabbit smiled sweetly and quipped, `Now do you understand? Such is the way of world! Such is the life!’

In a short while, the young boy returned with the villagers and they killed the crocodile. A dog that came along spotted the rabbit and started chasing it. The boy screamed at the dog `Hey, listen! This rabbit saved my life. Do not attack him. But alas, before the boy could intervene, the dog has chased and killed the rabbit in a jiffy!

The young boy unable to bear the tragedy, cried and said to himself, ` What the crocodile said was true. Such is the way of the world. Such is life!’

Buddhism speaks of the same great truth that the ancient sages of Hinduism revealed—we cannot fully understand the many aspects that cover our lives.

Unfairness is a part and parcel of life. Such is the way of life. Can we teach ourselves not to be the victims of unfairness and confront it with the understanding that mysteries of life cannot be fully understood? Such acceptance of unfairness would give us the maturity to live life wisely.

एक मेनेजर ट्रांसफर हो कर नई ब्रांच पर पहुंचा , बहुत परेशान था टारगेट्स को लेकर | संडे को बाल कटवाने गया तो नाई ने मालिश करते हुए पूंछा , कहाँ काम करते हो . मेनेजर ने बताया, तो नाई बोला कैसा बिजनेस चल रहा है बैंक का ? मेनेजर बोला , अभी नया नया आया हूँ सब ठीक हो जाएगा | नाई बोला टारगेट हो गए पूरे ?, मेनेजर परेशान हो गया बोला, हो जायेंगे यार. एक महीने बाद फिर मेनेजर बाल कटवाने गया नाई ने फिर टारगेट के बारे में पूंछा , मेनेजर फिर परेशान हो गया | ऐसे ही नाई हर महीने सवाल पूंछता , धीरे धीरे मार्च आ गयी पर टारगेट से बहुत पीछे था | मार्च में फिर बाल कटवाने गया , नाई ने फिर पूंछा , साहब टारगेट हो गए क्या ? . मेनेजर को गुस्सा आ गया , उसने नाईकी गर्दन पकड़ ली , बोला सही सही बता ये सब मेरा रिजनल मेनेजर पूछवाता है ना ? नाई बोला नहीं साहब , मेनेजर ने गर्दन जोर से दबा दी , बोला सच सच बता, नहीं तो जान से मार दूँगा . नाई बोला बताताहूँ , आप मुझे छोड़ दो. नाई बोला नहीं साहब , मेनेजर ने गर्दन जोर से दबा दी , बोला सच सच बता, नहीं तो जान से मार दूँगा . नाई बोला बताताहूँ , आप मुझे छोड़ दो. नाई बोला साहब आपके सर पर छोटे छोटे बाल बचे हैं , सो काटने में बड़ी परेशानी होती थी , में जैसे ही टारगेट की बात बोलता, तो आपके सर के बाल खड़े हो जाते थे , में आराम से बाल काट लेता था |😀
देख तेरे banker की हालत क्या हो गयी bhagwan..कितना बदल गया इन्सान 😫 wah re march tera hi intzar tha.

A keen immigrant Indian Marwadi lad applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown department store – the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss asked him: “Have you ever been a salesman before?”

“Yes sir, I was a salesman in India,” replied the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said: “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see how you do.”

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked: “How many sales did you make today?”

“Sir, Just ONE sale,” said the young salesman.

“Only one sale?” blurted the boss. “No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale worth?”

“93,30,05,34/- Sterling Pounds,” said the young Marwadi.

“What!!! How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss.

“Well” said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he’d be needing a boat. I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4 × 4 Blazer.

I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to the camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6-sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about 100 Stlg. Pounds worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment: “You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook????!”

“No” answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, “Sir, Your weekend’s spoiled anyway, you might as well go fishing.”

Boss: “You better sit in my chair……. .!!”

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and

woke him up.

MOM : “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”

SON : “But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school.”

MOM : “Give me two reasons why

you don’t want to go to school.”

SON :
“One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me.”

MOM : “Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on,

you have to go to school.”

SON : “Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school?”

MOM :

One,

you are FIFTY-TWO years old,

And should

understand your responsibilities.

Two,

You are the PRINCIPAL of the school "

Taxi wala to passenger:
" Sir aage

sa right jana hai yaa left?"

Passenger: “Kejriwal le lo.”

Taxi driver took a U turn.

-
कैद कर दिया सापों को ये कहकर सपेरे ने.
बस अब ईन्सानो को डसने के लिये ईन्सान काफी है.

सबके कर्ज़े चुका दूं मरने से पहले
ऐसी मेरी नीयत
है ….
:
मौत से पहले तू भी बता दे
ज़िन्दगी तेरी क्या क़ीमत
है

Hospital bloopers…. Hi doctors are these true happenings???
Whatever – Life is Beautiful!!!!

(Actual writings from hospital charts)

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She hasno rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
HOTTT last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she
got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light andaccommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

“What’s the matter?” he was asked.

He said, “I heard the nurse say, ’It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.”

“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”

“She was talking to the doctor”