Graham, I know you’re on here. Bring me tp. Everybody else please disregard.

https://i.imgur.com/gallery/k...yV

School masti at its best !

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1703364831…

Gender Discrimination

How the company views its employees-

The family picture is on his desk.

Ah, a solid, responsible family man.

The family picture is on her desk.

Umm, her family will come before her career.

Coffee done right

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, ’Let’s go’.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, ‘Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.’

‘Why?’ asked the pilot.
‘Because I’m a photographer for CNN’, he responded, ‘and I need to get some close up shots.’

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, ’

So, what you’re telling me, is . . . You’re NOT my flight instructor?’

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that… a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby – if given 9 Months !!!
😀

Bloke = Engineer , in a lot of pics

In one case council took three years to change a fused street light bulb in a village.
Reason, under new EU regulations it was 2 in. higher than the permissible height for a Worker to climb a ladder.
Council had to budget for changing the new pole with bulb at correct SAFE height.
Total cost about £5,000.

A friend’s neighbour works for British Telecom.
For any job involving climbing a ladder, a TRAINED QUALIFIED person must accompany the technician to hold the ladder.

I rang MM’s BBM and some one picked up the phone but no one spoke.
Are u sure its the correct pin ???

This is ultimate…,

Employee: Sir, Santa is standing outside your cabin with a bunch of underwears in a basket!

Boss: Oh shit! I told him to debrief his team and meet me in 15 mins.

Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

A line written on a Husband’s T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..:-P

What is the perfect example
of both Good & Bad Luck?

The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

but at the same time

Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

Sardars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

A boss was telling an applicant the two main rules of the company

He said, “Our 2nd main rule is cleanliness.
Did you wipe your feet on the mat before coming in?”

The applicant replied, “Yes sir! I did.”

Then the boss said,
“Our 1st main rule is trustworthiness.
.
.
.
There was no mat!”

Papa: whom do u like more mama or papa

kid: both
Papa: no tell me 1.
Kid: both
Papa: if i go america & ur mother go to paris. Where u go?
Kid: paris
Papa: this mean u like ur mother?
Kid: no.
Paris is beautiful then america
Papa: if i go paris & ur mother go america so where u go
Kid: america
Papa: why kid: bcuz i havent been there before

Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of IPL T20…

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play – No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders – To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out – Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over – Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.