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Corporate Jokes (To make us light)

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Alpha.Barood

This emails sent by my friend PR

3 PARROTS

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
“Rs. 2500.”, the man said. "Well what does he do?
“He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
“He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters.”
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, “Rs. 10,000.”
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird’s specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything.

But the other two call him " BOSS"!!

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A picky lady customer at a Supermarket’s fruit department watches as a new delivery of fresh fruit is delivered.

“Give me two kilo of oranges and wrap every orange in a separate piece of paper, please,” the picky lady says to the saleslady.

Silently the sales lady serves the picky customer.

“And three kilo of apples, please, and wrap each and every one in a separate piece of paper, too.”

Gritting her teeth, the saleslady once again obliges the picky customer.

“And what is that over there”, the picky customer says as she points to a basket in the corner.

“Grapes, says the saleslady with a big grin on her face, "but they are not for sale!!!

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not related to DD admin

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Life As A Credit Counselor

examples

The client said her “sister” has been using her credit card to buy coins to advance in the game


One woman who called me was a tremendous gambler. She lost her job and was looking for something to do, so she started going on river boat cruises. She became an addicted gambler and started pulling money from her credit card. She took out $100,000. Her husband didn’t know.


This woman was 80 years old, and her entire family took advantage of her. They used her cards and spent $40,000 on her credit cards.

It’s not uncommon that the elderly rack up debt, expecting to never pay it back because they won’t live long enough to see the debt paid..but to have your family do it to you? Wow.


“I met a lady, it’s not what you think.”

“Have you met her?”

“Well, No. I haven’t met her but I’ve spoken to her and she sent me pictures online and she wants to visit.”

He sent her thousands and thousands of dollars. And when it came time for her to visit “there was something wrong at the airport and it’s not her fault. ” He knew it sounded funny but he was in denial.

“she’s real. She exists.”

Buddy….it’s exactly what I thought.


This guy called to consolidate his debt. He was shot in the head, and his insurance company didn’t cover the entire cost of the surgery. He even sent pictures to prove it. It was pretty crazy


She said her husband had gotten into debt by gambling and hiring escorts and hookers at strip clubs. He charged everything to their credit cards.


Sorry lady, but this is a hardship program. Spending $20,000 on a vacation doesn’t count.

Was she any less qualified than the Candy Crush lady? I don’t think so.


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cont..,,

best reason

He was living in his car and was in a lot of debt. His wife had taken the kids and left him, and he couldn’t see them. He had also lost his job, and he felt he had no purpose in life. I remember him saying while clocking a gun in the background, “I don’t care about anything else I just want to get out of here.”

Many people are carrying heavy loads and some even to the point of taking their own lives over it. People don’t have to go through it alone and should seek help. If you’re struggling with debt, please feel free to reach out to me or another credit counselor at http://de...om or call us at 1-800-810-0989

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hahahahaa:-D https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_biggrin.gif

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“आईने के सामने खड़े हो के ख़ुद से ही
माफ़ी माँग ली मैंने..,
सबसे ज़्यादा अपना ही दिल दुखाया है मैंने,
औरों को ख़ुश करते करते…”..


तेरे पास जो है उसमें सबर कर….
और उसकी कद्र कर,
यहाँ तो आसमां के पास भी खुद की जमीं नहीं

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So gangsta IT hurts

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