Second Kid on the way - Need Advice!

Pls don't go with abortion. Everyone comes for a reason, and I don't think you have financial problems.

Bhagwan ka diya diya sabkuch hai apka pas.

Bache to bhagwan ka roop hote.

Kids are god's face .

2 bache hai meethi kheer 

Usse jyada bawasir.

Even government advice two kids.

Having 2 kids will only stabilize human kind.

I do find that emotionally you are overjoyed.

Now  the question is limited to your financial  and

physical capabilities to look after the children.

Only you can answer these.

if at all possible  , He/She has a right to live

With all due respect, this is a very personal decision and at best, you may consult close family and friends. Not public forums!

None of us here understand your family mind space (you and your spouse especially), neither we understand your financial stability, nor your opinion on what is the ideal family size. There are hundreds of factors that you might think or narrow down on one major factor to decide as well.

Not sure how serious you are to go by suggestions here, but sort things out. Not the right place or right way to do it.

It's a personal decision like @raghupro said, no amount of advice is practical without being in your shoes.

Please consult your queries with biologist/professors (preferably zoology and related background). 

Byaktigoto vabe ami mone kori tomader jibone dwitiyo sontan asuk, vrunero pran ache! Asha korbo sontander prokrito shikkhito kore tulbe, jara boro hoye thik ke thik, vul ke vul bolar khomota rakhbe, merudondo thakbe, shubho kamona roilo ❤️

Bro, having 2 childs and nurturing them, will not exhaust all your life funds. As the inflation grow,  salary also grows,  plus u r a public servant,  so u have a secured job. Think about life of private sector guys.

Regarding natural conception after IVF,  no body can clearly say anything. We all have heard news of 60+ aged women getting pregnant,  whereas modern science says menopause happens after 45+ age. 

Lastly thinking about abortion will be a sin. Abortion is only suggested when baby has abnormalities and to free a soul from future suffering,  its advisable. Otherwise people nowadays use technology for committing crimes,  everyday we hear news of murder,  extortion etc. 

My final advice is,  welcome ur new kid, get all test, scans done properly. Try to give good education + moral teachings to both ur childrens.

Thats how humanity will survive after our departure 🙏

bro visit a CA 

Honest inputs on one side 🆚 clichés/platitudes on other side!

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After long time seen such contrast at one thread in DD!! Amazing!!!

Congrats and happy for you OP.

we are  4 Years into marriage and we are expecting baby (she is 5 months pregenant now) . i know the hurdles you might have passed in your fertility journey as i have experienced the same.

Please dont abort it doesnt cost much to raise a child in middle class society in india . i am pretty sure you will raise the younger one and your elder daughter very well. <3 

it is easy to find it who are you, but out of your respect leaving it aside.

firstly this is a very personal decision. dont listen to strangers on this matter.

yes getting pregnant is possible after ivf.

regarding abortion, are you ready to murder someone? if it is due to some extreme health situation such as threat to the women and children then there is a legal way to do it. but if you are just thinking about this due to a financial situation then you are a fookin idiot. what if your first child becomes a chapri and the second child would have been an elon musk? or what if you loose everything in your bank balance, then what?

to conclude this is a personal decision. if this is due to health situation then follow legal guidelines if this is due to financial situation then not a good idea.

I want your advice guys.
Is natural conception possible after ivf?

- Consult you doctor / gynaec for pros and cons .. also take different tests .. opinions from different doctors if needed .

Is it possible to secure a good future for both of my kids or should I go for abortion?

Do not go for this much planning .. life works in magical ways .. evident with your current scenario . Pray for the best and go ahead .

on side note i only fovour abortion if needed in medical ways or some un avioidable constraints .. your excuse of financial stability is pointless . 

What was your IVF cost. I am 33 years. Married when I was 26. Did multiple ovulation induction and IUI and IVF. Had 2 kids but had to abort in 6th month due to heart issue…  Me and my wife are having medicine since 7 years and visiting hospital thrice every month.. Still we are trying hard to conceive. We spend heavily in hospital, Food, temple, donation and astrology 

If I would be in your situation I would be happy and never ever thought of having abortion..

🤔
........
I see many opinions on this topic, some I agree, many I don't.


1) @raghupro agree with you that this is a private decision, should be discussed privately. But family and friends would always have a strong biased towards a outcome that makes them most happy/ comfortable..In that regard, different perspectives of someone who is emotionally detached from this situation can be really useful. Same reason doctors don't operate on their friends or family member.

2) To Dimers comparing feticide to baby murder....

A sperm and egg is not a zygote (fertilized egg), zygote is not a embryo... embryo is not a Fetus... Fetus is not a baby and a baby is not a adult human (who can vote) 
Just like seeds are not plants.

They are difference in terms of ages, stages.

If sperms could be considered half humans (one of the haploid cells in zygote)  then I'm definitely guilty of mass genocide.... every week.

3) People who are saying raising a child isn't expensive for  middle-class families, I don't know if they have been involved in calculating expenses for a child. It's damn expensive.

............X............

@mainakzf5505
Raising a child is expensive. Raising two children is almost twice as expensive. From the day of the good news, going to the OBGYN for pre-natal checkups to paying for their college tuition, you'd be spending money All your life. But if you can can save that money, What would you do it that? What would you do... which worth a abortion (feticide)?

If you believe giving all the attention and resources to your first born would make her better and more successful then think again. There are many examples of people from weaker economic sections getting great success in life compared to privileged one's.

Having two kids, your finances would definitely take a hit. You might need to adjust your Life and lifestyle accordingly. But many people feel that a child is worth that sacrifice. Many couples never have kds... even though they naturally can. But you have been trying for years until you succeeded.

You mentioned you're 40, I hope it's not unfair of me to assume your wife is atleast 30. So chances of conceiving again ( naturally) is getting slimmer every passing month.

........... * ........


Make sure you have help from family members or atleast domestic help ( paid help servants) during the period. Otherwise it would be hard for you two to handle.


Think of this situation as buy 1 ( through IVF) get 1 free ( naturally) ... Sorry couldn't resist myself from making that joke.

On a serious note, If any serious medical abnormality defect is detect is detected in Fetus,, don't hesitate, consider abortion.





 

Dear OP

I cant answer first question because not qualified for that

"Is it possible to secure a good future for both of my kids or should I go for abortion?"

Answer - What is good future ?? what is the definition of good future ??

No one knows what will gonna happen after 10 years or 20 years so stop worrying about future things because no one knows any answer

Abortion = it's a sin to kill your own child even thinking about this is sin, I am 43 years old person and seen 1 relative, married in 2010 and still trying IVF and spent 10 lakhs plus and finally going for adoption ....

My first kid will be 21 when I retire, is it advisable to go for a second kid?

Answer = its completely okay to go for it because your first child will have a company and both together will bond well and you will be living happily so not think much about society and this age issue .

Every child has its own stars and luck okay so do not worry about future you can plan it well 

god bless you and your family and I wish you luck happy life happy health for your unborn baby and whole family

Hi all, happy see this kind of thread., even my suggestion..is similar to raghupro..

None of us here understand your family mind space (you and your spouse especially)

Mothers responsibility will be very high during during initial years like up to 10 years appx, of course both parents have same responsibility. no offense to any one.

This is imp from, Total fun says, On a serious note, If any serious medical abnormality defect is detect is detected in Fetus,, don't hesitate, consider abortion

And true that, pingpong says, True that, After long time seen such contrast at one thread in DD!! Amazing!!!

1️⃣ To answer your first question,
Yeah, it’s definitely possible to conceive naturally after IVF. It might seem surprising, but IVF doesn’t really lower your chances of natural conception. Sometimes after a successful pregnancy, the body just kinda resets itself...hormones, endometrium, all that stuff can improve naturally... and bam, another pregnancy happens. It’s more common than you think.

Anddddddd About your worries on securing a future for both kids... it’s totally normal to feel unsure. Think about what having a second child means for you "emotionally", not just financially!!. Kids bring both joy and challenges, so if you and your partner feel ready for it, it’s definitely something to consider. 💕


2️⃣ Don't rush into the conclusion of abortion... there’s always a 'what if?' What if the second child completes your family? That’s a beautiful possibility to consider. Remember, abortion could mean closing an entire chapter of your life!!!

(+Do NOT think of abortion as something simple like they show in the movies.
In reality, it can lead to serious complications like uterine perforation or even sepsis. It's important to be fully aware of the risks too!! )

3️⃣I get that financial planning is crucial, especially with retirement in mind, but that’s something you can tackle later. Take your time to think things through and maybe chat with a financial expert for a solid plan.

And about your worries regarding age... look at examples like Ranbir Kapoor! He became a dad at 40. Initially, he felt uncertain, but he embraced it and realized that age is just a number. Life is spontaneous, and living joyfully should be the ultimate goal!

All the best, brother! Don’t fear challenges—there’s always something positive to find. Embrace the journey and focus on the love family brings. You’ve got this Bhai ♥️💕

There are many great advices ahead by Dimers.

I have gone through the most, and I might have missed something as well, but I will just add-

1. It must be your personal choice.

2. At least 2 Kids is a good idea, have many pros and very less cons.

3. Every New Life comes here with their own luck, charm. You will be able to manage everything. Fave faith on nature 💫

@batguy143 Doc, pls advise. TIA.