Teasing Answers (Bakwas Band Kar)

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife?

A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

An Irishman enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it.
He does this again and again.
Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

*There is nothing more expensive than a female tear . . When a single drop comes out, its first mixed with “loreal”, eyeliner  and"Dior" mascara ✏. *

*then when it comes down to cheek…. its mixed with D&G blusher . . and in case it touches the lips ,, it gets mixed with “Maybelline” lipstick …. this means that a single drop is worth atleast *

*
rs.1500,,*

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, “What do they do here?”
The guard outside tells him “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour..
Then the Devil comes and beats you for the rest of the day”….

The man gets frightened.. so he moves on and checks out what’s there with American/ Russian hell and for the rest of the other countries…
He finds it’s more or less the same everywhere !!

Suddenly he looks at the Indian hell and finds a long queue of people waiting outside there to get in!

Amazed, he asks one of the people standing in the queue there, “What do they do here ?” The person replies,
“First they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour..
Then the Devil comes and beats you for the rest of the day..”

Wonders the man, “but that’s exactly the same in other hells, so why many people are standing in queue here ??”

The person replies,

“ Because this is Indian Hell !..
the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work…
someone has stolen all the nails from the bed !!…
and the Devil here is a former Government servant…….
So he just comes, signs the attendance and then goes to the canteen…

Santa: Nahin hai.

TC: Kya license banvaya hai ya nahin?

Santa: Nahin.

TC: Kyon?

Santa: Banwane gaya tha, woh Voter ID card mangte hain, aur woh mere paas nahin hai.

TC: To Voter ID card banwale..

Santa: Banwane gaya tha, woh Ration Card mangte hain, woh mere paas nahin hai..

TC: Toh fir Ration Card banwale..

Santa: Gaya tha, Woh Bank ki Passbook mangte hain, woh mere paas nahin hai..

Ladki: Sunday 1 st show ke BALCONY ke CORNER wale 2 ticket kar ke rakhna

Ladka: CORNER wala ticket na mile toh?

Ladki: Toh Film denkhege !!!

Descriptions

· * Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he just gargled.*

· Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard was not watching.

· A room temperature IQ

· A prime candidate for natural de-selection

· Fell out of the family tree

· He is so dense that light bends around him

· Has two brains; one is lost and the other is looking out for it

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
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Think Think….
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Its because….
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Monday is a Weak Day….

Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark?
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Ans: On Television.. ..
____________ _________

Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn?
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Guess plz….
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He’ll ask:
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“Where is Pop Corn?”

Q: What is the full form of CNBC ???
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It means….
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Cartoon Network for Business Community !!

Q) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant?
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT.

Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made ‘Phoonk’?
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ANS:
Uski Picchli ‘AAG’ ko bujhaane ke liye….
___________ _________ _________ _______

Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple ?
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Guess?
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MARUTI 800!!!

Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega?
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Socho….
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Kol-Kata…. .

Bear this PJ !!

Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer ‘Tikka’ Masala??
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Simple!

The Latter is Vaccinated.. .!!

UNBEATABLE PJ:
Q: According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
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ANS:
HOLI.
How?

Coz….

He Keeps Saying…

“Holi CUB hai,

CUB hai Holi…."

😩😫😁😱😠😡

Father:- agar iss bar tum exam mein fail hue to mujhe papa mat kehna.
Aftr exam
father: how is ur result?
Son: dimag ka dahi mat kar BABULAL tu baap ka haq kho chuka hai…😜😝😃

JIGSAW PUZZLE_*

Exe.file
https://hotfile.com/dl/202314979/117caaf/city-l…

Rar.file
https://hotfile.com/dl/202315057/3e0745e/city-l…

Jigsaw puzzle is a tiling puzzle that requires the assembly of numerous small, often oddly shaped, interlocking and tessellating pieces
Each piece has a small part of a picture on it; when complete, a jigsaw puzzle produces a complete picture.

NEW Ad of Pepsi:

Sr. Vs. Jr.

Sunny Leone takes Pepsi from changing room of senior actresses…

Katrina : Hello what are you doing in the changing room of senior actresses….

Sunny : was feeling thirsty so came to take Pepsi.

Kareena : Did u took our permission before entering?

Sunny : permission for Pepsi?

Deepika : How dare u argue with your seniors…

Sunny : well I think we all are in same field so why this discrimination??

Priyanka : so u think tumhare or hamare bich mein koi fark nahi hai???

Sunny : Farak to hai…. Main app logo ki film mein kabhi bhi aa sakti hu, per aap log meri film mein kabhi nahi aa sakti….
😜 😂

“SENIOR” EYE TEST

https://i.imgur.com/t...vG

HILARIOUS! (and I did see sheep… at first. Then I looked closer to see if I recognise anyone!)
Eye test for those over 40

FINGER EXERCISE TO AVOID DEPRESSION

Highly Recommended Exercise

CURES ALL TYPES OF DEPRESSIONS

True story – the three little pigs

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is.
They think so logically.
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.
She read … ‘and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said:
’Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class:
‘And what do you think the man said?’
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly:
‘I think the man would have said – ’Well, f*ck me!! A talking pig!’

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Cold Winter Ahead

The Native Americans on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’
‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ’it’s going to be a very cold winter.’
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ’It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.
“Because”, the weatherman replied, “the Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood”.

The lesson: Don’t trust what the government tells you

migrating to Australia
A Chinese guy decides to retire and move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a small piece of land.
A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region.
He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinaman running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the
Chinaman urinates into a glass and then drinks it.
Not wanting to interrupt another ‘Chinese custom’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinaman leading a bull down the drive-way,…pause…., and then put his left ear next to the bull’s butt.

The Aussie bloke can’t handle this, so he goes up to the Chinaman and says:
‘Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull’s butt, it could just about shit on you.’

The Chinaman is very taken back and says:
‘Sorry sir, you no understand, these no … Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.’

‘What do you mean mate’ says the Aussie, ‘Those aren’t Australian customs.’

Yes they are, man at travel agent tells me’ replied the Chinaman:
‘He says to become true Australian, I must learn to…..chase chicks, get piss drunk, and….listen to bull-shit.’

So you think you’re smart !!
How sharp are you?
Understand each question prior to selecting your response. Don’t laugh at bill gates and his score of three, just yet!!
This one is fun!!
Think carefully, before answering them.
You are going to hate yourself over this.
It scores automatically, too.
Take this advice… think before you answer.

Click here: How Smart Are You?